I want to share you my mom, Linda Sue Rice’s, story.
I would like to share my story of March 13, 2020. I knew the US was about to be placed under COVID-19 Emergency Declaration because I was working in an ER/urgent care at the time. My 38 days look a little different than anyone else. I was home when I received a call that my mom was in a little ER where I grew up. When I heard there is a mass in her pancreas suddenly my legs started shaking and I could not stand, I told my aunt “Mom has CANCER”. I worked in an ER so I knew what was happening and I had NO CONTROL. I needed to get to her but how could all the following take place. I also knew my mom never wanted chemotherapy. I knew because we had these TOUGH discussions years before. In less than an hour my wife, Marsha, who was in Altoona as medical resident, booked a flight for her mom to fly up from Florida to take care of our poodles and then Marsha had to come and pick her mom and the puppies up in Erie. I remember crying all night, whaling in tears because I knew it was bad with a 4cm tumor that was overlooked by so many. I cried myself to sleep. I woke up to drive to Buffalo to pick up my mother-in-law to bring back to Erie. I then drove to Cincinnati. On my way I was about an hour from the hospital, and I finally was able to talk to the doctor. I remember the words “YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO SEE HER, DON’T COME HERE”. I cried, I made a video of all the emotions of not being able to be with someone who has a large tumor in her pancreas and NO SUPPORT. To this day I have not watch the video. I
Over the course of the week, I had requested palliative care team, my mom had two failed biopsies of her liver. She said no more and so did I. It was about pain control and quality of life at this point. Everything was shut down; they could not tell me how she would see the next medical oncologist or palliative care provider as an outpatient. I had been preparing my mom’s house for her arrival.
In a week’s time, hospice came to the house, my mom put everything in my name or my niece. Our lawyer made a house call which is unheard of in times like this. My mom then went back inpatient to hospice for pain control. Then there could only be two people in 12 hours, so we took shifts. I stayed at night with her while during the day I was running around trying to get all the LEGAL things taken care of.
It was a Monday, and I was talking to my niece, my mom started to show more signs of the end of her journey. I immediately left work to drive 5 hours to my mom. When I arrived, she was non-verbal and over the next week, I would lift and move her where she pointed or whispered to me. She would look at flowers outside that her grandkids planted for her; she would sit in her recliner and look outside. The day she passed my tears started; I knew she was going to leave me that day on April 20, 2020. My healing is bringing awareness to pancreatic cancer and support to their families.
Vivian Grimes was my best friend’s mother who had fought pancreatic cancer for over 5 years only to leave us while fighting COVID. She had fought pancreatic cancer to beat the odds only to lose the fight to COVID on February 1, 2021. Vivian and my best friend Rose were my military family while I was stationed at Fort Riley, Kansas. They took care of everything for me while I was deployed during 9/11.
March 13, 2020, was the day the world shut down due to COVID. My lens does not have worries of COVID but rather the day my mom and I had to make decisions based on how she wanted to live her last 38 days. The pain I felt the day she entered hospice, and I signed her DNR is a day I will never forget.
My words to ALL (family members, caregivers, etc) is LISTEN, DON’T JUDGE & FOLLOW-UP!!!!
Here is a breakdown of timeline.
But first let me take you back to when her symptoms started.
September 11, 2019
She went to see her primary care provider to pain, the pain was documented as “flank pain” but described as thoracic spine, aching 6/10 “severe”, weight 193, blood pressure 146/90. She started to show signs of elevated glucose. She was treated for a urinary tract infection, although her urinalysis was negative for infection.
October 7, 2019
She returned for pre-op surgery for her eye lids. She had lost 18lbs, now weighing 176. No questions were addressed with her pain or documented.
March 3, 2020
Returned to pain management for a lumbar injection. No records were provided after multiple requests. Immediately following the injection, she lost control of her bowels, she was SENT HOME in scrubs. Again, NO RECORDS.
MARCH 13, 2020
She was transferred to Christ hospital, Cincinnati, Ohio.
Her CA19-9 was >27,000 (Normal Range 0-37)
She was discharged home. Pain was not controlled.
March 25-31, 2020
I was able to bring her home.
April 6, 2020
LAST VERBAL DAY PIROR TO DEATH
April 11, 2020
Increased confusion
April 15, 2020
She whispered “I don’t know what this is”. I kept telling her it was alright.
April 17, 2020
1st death rattle 0845 am
April 20, 2020
My mom left us at 00:49am
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VIVIAN GRIMES (Rose Sacher’s mom) story
She fought pancreatic cancer for over 5 years with the prestige medical care provided by University of Kansas Medical Center (my alma mater). She had no fight left in her to fight against COVID. She passed with her daughter Rose Sacher by her side. Rose and her family is very special as they supported me like family while I was deployed during 9/11.
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