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The hardest thing I have ever imagined is living without my mom. When you see the LIGHT OF YOUR LIFE tortured, it changes you.
After her death in 2019 (and completely consumed by grief), I tried to think of another thing that sounded terrible, horrible, no good, and very bad and landing on running. I thought that if I could reach myself to run, maybe I could teach myself to live the rest of my life with a dead mom.
Every single moment without her is bullshit, but she's be proud of me.
After 5 marathons (and $5k+ donated to cancer research!), I'm taking on a 50k on December 15th. It'll be the five year anniversary of her death. Only 0.007% of the world's population has completed an ultramarathon, and the percentage of women who participate in ultramarathons is even smaller (0.0001%!). I've never run that distance, and it's terrifying, but I am eager to continue using this grief to help others.
PLEASE donate to PanCAN. This org was tremendously helpful when my mom was sick. Most simply, you're FLOODED with information, decisions, emotion, and so much more when you get a Pancreatic Cancer diagnosis. PanCAN is a FREE resource that allows you to send emails and talk directly with specialists at any time. When you're desperately alone and in a hole, PanCAN can be a much needed light. Please please please donate today.
I love you, Ma. You're the best of me, always.
Printable donation form - print and mail.
